آموزش زبان

Browsing in a pet shop, a man sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green  string attached to its  right leg. He asks the shop owner about the bird. " This is a highly trained parrot." The owener explains. "If you pull the red string, he speaks Spanish. If you pull the green string, he speaks French.

"What happens if I pull both at once?" the man askeds.

"I fall off my perch, you fool!" screeches the parrot.

Pet: domestic animal

Perch: A stick specially in a cage that birds sit on it.

Screech: scream

Religion teacher is telling a class of kindergarten students about how all good people  go to heaven .

" So, who woud like to go to heaven?" the teache asks.

Everyone raises their hands except Daniel. Puzzled, the teacher askes him, "why don't you want to go to heaven?"

" Because my mother said I should go straight home after school." 

The back of a man's coat was leaping up and down and people were giving him money. " Do you earn a living doing that?" asked a passerby.

" Yes " he said. " This is my livelihood."

leap: jump, rise

livelihood: business